Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Do Sheep Dream of Political Machinations?

Mitt Romney is definitely
not made from discarded
parts of electric cars,
nor is he
a Model T-1000 Ford.
That would make him
a robot
and Mitt Romney is
not a robot.

Mitt Romney does not run
on a 3.1 format floppy disk
which teaches him
'sad,' 'happy' and 'money.'
Mitt Romney is
a people.
Mitt Romney has
specific, contextually
appropriate feelings.
Mitt Romney is not friends
with people that own Skynet.
Skynet is not real.
Mitt Romney is real.

Mitt Romney has a family.
Would a terminator
have a family?
Yes,
but only to kill them.
Mitt Romney
did not kill his family.
Thefore,
Mitt Romney
is not a Terminator.

Mitt Romney has
many friends.


None come to mind.

Wait, Ron Paul.
Ron Paul is Mitt Romney's
friend.
Would Ron Paul be friends
with a cybernetic being?
Yes.
Yes, Ron Paul would.
Unless it was
a gay abortion doctor
or
a black person
pre 1992,
Ron Paul would
totally
be friends with a cybernetic organism.
But Mitt Romney is
definitely
not
a cybernetic organism.

Mitt Romney was not,
nor has ever been
a refurbished ATM machine.
He did not
corrupt your deposit,
Charles.
Mitt Romney did not take
1,473.84 cents
and grind it
up inside of himself.
Why would Mitt Romney
do that,
Charles?
Mitt Romney is not
an old, malfunctioning
ATM machine
on the corner of
Avenue A and St. Marks
between
the dates of September 13, 1996 and July 21st, 2002.

Mitt Romney does not have a serial number.
That is just the number of dogs
Mitt Romney has killed
BY ACCIDENT.
Mitt Romney is
definitely not
a Terminator ATM machine
that performs rigorous clinical trials
searching for effective ways
to kill
the most dogs.
Bain is not a front
for a canine euthanasia
dispensary.
John Connor did not
get resurrected
as a Water Dog.
That was Jean on Baywatch.
Mitt Romney does not
believe that John Connor is now
President Obama's Portuguese Water Dog Bo
because
of an episode of Baywatch
that was automatically uploaded to his motherboard when
his modem malfunctioned.

Mitt Romney can go
near large amounts
of water.
He is not
afraid
of spills.
Mitt Romney does not
require substantive cooling to prevent a reboot of his system which would force him to run on Windows 95 safe mode for a week
until
his 'campaign' manager
'consults' him.
Mitt Romney is not
404
Error
File Not Found.
BLUESCREEN.
I see you're writing a letter,
Charles.
Would you like me to assist you with some templates?

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