Monday, October 8, 2012

Have You All Lost Your Goddamn Minds?


Liberals, you need to get your goddamn shit together.  The President lost a debate. He didn’t lose Texas. For four years, this President has faced off one of the most obstructionist parties in modern American political history. He did this in the center of an economic collapse. He has delivered on too many promises to count, even in the dead heat of this. He’s been running ahead in an election where the opposition was fairly incompetent, where the leading opposition candidate told half the country to go fuck themselves with a stolen rusty tire iron. He has one debate where the opposition is competent, and that’s it. You’re done. You have bad polling days, and you’re done. Let’s just call off the election and use that time to apply for foreign passports. I mean, holy shit, what a bunch of spineless bastards you turned out to be.

I’ve spent the last few days talking to you motherfuckers, and I have several questions, beginning with: did you motherfuckers watch the same debate as me? Cause for the last few days, I’ve heard people saying ‘why didn’t he point out that Romney was lying?’ He did. ‘Why didn’t he tie the economy to education or healthcare?’ He did. He made much of the same case for his Presidency as did Bill Clinton. He just didn’t do it with the bullshit flourish that is Clinton’s specialty. But shit, for the last four years, he hasn’t done the flourish. He’s been tired almost every day. He’s been tired at every press conference. He’s been tired at every speech and every state of the union with the exception of a handful of incidents. And all of a sudden, you’re surprised he comes off tired? Fuck yes, he’s tired. For four years, for four years while you were antsy that he was playing the adult in the room, while you thought he was being too nice, he fought daily for every reform at every impasse. Bill Clinton, for all his talents, didn’t do what Barack Obama did. Not for the uninsured. Not for the poor. Not for college students. Not for women. Not for the children of illegal immigrants. Not in a recession. This President has wound down two wars. He gave the kill order for Osama Bin Laden. He has promoted genuine efforts at democracy in the middle east, in a region that is in the middle of a revolution that came under his watch. While everything he does gets fucked daily by the tidal wave of shithead that is the Republican Party, the Israeli Prime Minister, the European economy, probably the whole of the Middle East, some douchebags with Youtube accounts and the state of Arizona, we ask if his heart is in it? Really? If he really wants to be President? For four years, we sat at his left flank just pissing and moaning while he delivered what none of his predecessors could. He did this against a party that is objectively crazy. And now, one debate, and the question is, is the President’s heart in it?

What happened to chess? Yeah, fuck chess, we had a few bad poll days, time to go beat our own brains in with an ice pick. You know what? Fuck the President’s heart. I know his heart’s in it because while you and I have been fucking around amongst ourselves, bullshitting into the ether as to what it would mean for the campaign if Obama came off like an angry black man for a second, he’s been there bleeding for us and our progressive policies every goddamn day. You know whose heart isn’t in it? You know who needs to take the blame right now? You know who is letting everybody down? We are. We’re the ones we’ve been waiting for, and we surely are a huge pile of superstitious assholes. For four years, this President has made good on his promises even with the shit-storm that has become the political process in America. And he deserves, if not our support, then our resolve. So stop fucking panicking because you had a bad poll day. You know how many bad poll days the President has had? You might know better than he does, because he’s been too busy trying to keep Iran and Israel from becoming the dust and ash filled lands formerly known as Iran and Israel. So, for fuck’s sake, get your shit together. This is our President. He needs us. He needs our support. He needs our resolve. He needs us to beat Mitt Romney, because that asshole, despite what he said in the debate, would do exactly the damage that George Bush did, and we literally can’t afford that.

We can’t afford more wars. We can’t afford more debt. We can’t afford more tax breaks for wealthy fuckers. We cannot afford more jobs lost, more pensions squandered, more homes drowned in debt just so one more asshole can make his buck at the margins of legality. We cannot afford losing healthcare reform. People with preexisting conditions who might lose insurance, people whose parents are going to get old and need care and housing, they can’t afford it. Our generation and our children can’t afford the debt we’d accumulate under Romney. They can’t afford the spending cuts that won’t happen, the wars that will, and every promise that he’ll break as quickly as he made it. We can’t afford this collapse. And if it happens, it’s not on the President. He did poorly in a debate. If that means he loses the election, it’s on us. Because this man hasn’t been quiet. He has fought for us and our principles and our policies every day, and if he loses this because of a debate, then it means for all our talk, we weren’t ready to fight for him.

Get your shit together. Because you can’t afford not to, because you are better than this, because you need the resolve of the last four years. You have been beaten the fuck down by all the monstrosities there are. Now is not the time, a month away from an election between a man who has helped us fight and a man who would continue to bludgeon us, to panic. Now is the time to stand, with the fire you need to get through this pulsing through your corroded arteries and your over-extended gut, with the conviction of your principles, and fight for this President the way he’s fought for us. Not because he's got this, but because he might not. Because now, he might need you. Because we might need you. So please, calm the fuck down, get your goddamn shit together and fight for this because for once, it means something that you do more than talk shit.

63 comments:

  1. Awesome smackdown. Now with more F bombs!

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  2. Well... Dang. You make a good point. I was gonna vote Green Party but now, I gotta think.

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  3. I'm wandering when people are going to get outraged about the attempts to stop people from voting. Any self respecting Republican should vote Democrat just to make sure it doesn't happen again. I think we need some real serious demonstrations. We need criminal charges brought whenever possible. My sister and her husband received a phone call (along with a lot of other Oregonians,) saying they aren't registered to vote. They have been voting at that address for 15 years.

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  4. I LOVE IT... THANK YOU... THIS IS ONE OF THE GREATEST PHILLIPICS I'VE EVER READ... THANKS AGAIN...

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  5. Right there with ya. And the weird thing is I've been critical of Obama for a lot of things from the left. But not this. I honestly thought he did fine at the debate, considering he was facing a glib, pathological liar catapulting bullshit at him. My god, people, chill out. There are 3 more debates and even in the unlikely event that Biden and Obama step on their dicks in each one, remember that Bush was a disaster in all three of his debates and he still won in 2004.

    The polls are already settling down and the ONLY thing anyone remembers from last Wed. night is that Romney wants to fire Big Bird.

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  6. I don't know you, and you don't know me, but thank you for writing that.

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  7. Right on target . Needed to read and understand that there are others out there that feel and see things the way I do. Thank you writer for stating so passionately exactly what I feel and the resovle that I and my family have. Thank you.

    Sincerely , An American!

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  8. I totally agree THE PRESIDENT won the Debate despite Romney's tactics. Romney has no Idea of how to solve this nations problems But One Thing I believe is IT's NOT Making him President

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  9. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. It cannot be overstated how much Obama has done for us, at great cost to his psyche, i would imagine. Thank you for rallying the troops and saying what needed to be said!

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  10. I so agree with everything you have written here!! I am steadfast in MY support for the President and will continue to fight for him!!!

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  11. Thank you for this. It needs to be shouted from the rooftops.

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  12. The title of your essay is how I felt when almost everyone thought Mitt Romney had won the first debate.

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  13. Thank you to infinity and beyond. All the fainting and clutching of the pearls is just want the other side wants and hysterical dems are playing right into it. This isn't the time to go off sulking in the corner and let Romney/Ryan ruin our country. We have to have the President's back. I do!!

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  14. I would have to say, that, except for the profanity, this was well written. If you want to reach people from older generations, it helps to write with respect instead of lambasting us with swearing. I took the liberty of editing your piece for an older readership, merely replacing the profanity with softer descriptions and taking out the ones the actually get in the way of what you're saying. I would like permission to post it on Facebook, where the people of my generation hang out and don't need to be sworn at to get our attention.

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    1. You are free to do what you please with my writing and I appreciate your ear, but with certainty, you misjudge editing a text for fixing it and you make assumptions of your peers that do not carry with the full weight of them.

      Older generations swear more than I do because they've lived longer and have found more to swear about. They've been through this routine before. They've been through families and marriages and debts, they've had and lost a mortgage. They've spent decades in jobs worrying about being laid off and having to pick a third or fourth career out of crumbling industries. They've had to watch their parents go and then their friends. Much of my family is dead; much of my work has been decent. Most lives longer than mine have been harder than mine, and I would wager that the people who have lived those lives have sworn in them.

      Respect entails saying what you mean and how you mean it; trusting that people's lives have not been easy, that life has done its work on them, that their spirits have at points been hardened and endured.

      As I said, I appreciate your ear, but if I have it, it is not because I spoke softly enough. It's because I spoke honestly which has its own volume. I said it as it was and you heard me exactly. I wanted nothing more than to say it, so you can go with it now as it suits you. I ask only that you keep this in mind as you go.

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    2. As a linguist I agree with both of you.

      Swear words have a single purpose--- to signal that a feeling is held very strongly. So strongly, in fact, that we use otherwise taboo words in association with them. Even when the taboo words have no literal sense being there--- The Bastard tells us to get our "shit" together, and he doesn't mean we should gather up our feces. It's just the use of the otherwise taboo word to get attention, in a "this absolutely needs to be heard" kind of way. Their use was more taboo in the past, when expressing strong feelings itself was frowned upon.

      Taboo words of course, vary, and the threshold of taboo varies, too. I don't know that older generations swore less; they swore less in public, certainly, and there was also a gender gap in swearing. But even then, we've crafted a whole array of lighter swear words that evoke the taboo words without breaching the taboo by actually saying them--- freakin', frickin', frackin', shoot, motherlovin', son of a gun, SOB, heck, darn(ed), butthole, gosh, goshdarn, even your old-timey dagnabbit. These are fascinating words because you clearly aren't hiding anything, but you still manage to avoid breaching that particular taboo.

      Anyways, taking these words out does change the meaning. Not necessarily the literal, truth-conditional meaning, but the unspoken, expressive meaning. When you say "I dropped the fucking coffee mug on my foot!", you're saying "I dropped the coffee mug on my foot AND I feel really strongly about it." The placement of 'fucking' depends on other factors like focus; you could have equally said "I fucking dropped the coffee mug on my foot!" or "I dropped the coffee mug on my fucking foot!". Hell, you could have said "I fucking dropped the fucking coffee mug on my fucking foot!". Then you'd feel REALLY strongly about it.

      So if you simply take the swear words out, you take out the anger, the passion, the urgency. Surgical excision of swear words does nothing but sterilize a text. Now, it's possible to express strong feelings without swear words. And you say you used softer expressions... what you've done in essence is translate the text. Do those expressions capture the expressive content?

      I have my doubts. But I can't fault you for trying, Dreamsmith--- for many people, swear words are still a no-no, and their use in public signals a crassness that can turn people off of what you're saying. Either because the words themselves are taboo, or because strong feelings should be tempered (notably at work!). All I can say is good luck.

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    3. With all due respect, if you're so won over by the argument, which hinges on maintaining a temper and conviction, it might be worth considering that the way in which is was written is also correct.

      It's kind of like reading Art Spiegelman's Maus, thinking it's great, but then going and changing all of the Swastikas into boxed crosses, because you'd hate to see the spectre of the Nazi party ruin an otherwise engrossing tale of cat on mouse oppression.

      I'd also point out, however unintended, a level of hubris at play here. You're admiring the work, but then assuming you can some how fix it or repair. Words are thought. You are changing thought. If swear words are a no-no, people are going to have to revise their comfort levels, or miss out. Just my 2 cents.

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    4. Well, as far as I'm concerned... it's fucking brilliant. And I'm sorry, but that means a lot more than just plain brilliant. :)

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    5. Fucking right on brother, at 61with a mother in nursing home and seeing what I see, the President should get 99% of the vote. Your words were brilliant and inspiring. Thank you

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    6. Hey, I'm seventy years old and if you keep using all this fucking bad language, you fuckers, I may have to clean up my act and it's getting a bit late to do that.

      Fuck Mitt Romney and his evil tribe. Thank you.

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  15. I am a senior citizen lady and I fucking approve your message.

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    1. I live in Mass., believe me Mitt is a snake, thinks he's better than most of us, will hurt our most precious people, our Seniors, children & the average American citizen.

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    2. as a senior citizen potty mouth, i found the swearing refreshing!!!
      you won't find me at 63 holding back

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    3. yeah, me too! 66 this month. (I am not anonymous! I am editorite.com)

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  16. Wow, I think I need a cigarette and a shower. Bravo.

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  17. Exactly what I needed. Thank you!

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  18. YEAAAAHHHH, that's what I'm talking about. Well said, Sad Bastard Bar. I FIND YOUR VIEWS INTRIGUING AND WISH TO SUBSCRIBE TO YOUR NEWSLETTER. Sent it to Andrew Sullivan, who needs to calm the f--k down.

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  19. Whew!
    I can dig it!!
    I"m there!
    Are you?

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  20. I lived 62yrs in Massachusetts, so when I hear Romney say: "My state, Massachusetts" it makes me sick...all the way out to northern California where I now live." HIS state, indeed!

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  21. Yes yes yes, We need to have Obama's back every day.

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  22. Thank you! This so needed to be said. The worst part is the media in wanting a horse race have abdicated their duty to verify the facts. The narrative has been all about Mitt and his command performance. It's easy to give a performance when you don't have to worry about the facts.

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  23. I reposted your blog post in its entirety and made sure to give you credit. This is something I feel very strongly about and you put it better then I ever could. I made sure to cite my source. You. :)

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  24. From here, outside the US, it feels like US voters, listening to the debate, were not happy with the performance of the president. So, on the next opinion poll, they chose the alternative to express that. But nowadays that alternative is so far at the right and so away from the middle class's interest that choosing cons reveals some kind of a denial of democracy in the system. A denial of democracy in the US ? What a terrible thing for all of us.

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  25. Awesome! Thanks for writing this!

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  26. I have been waiting to read an article like this one. Every point is so absolutely true. We need someone like you to put it all into perspective. This article hits it right on. We as citizens just whine and complain too much because we want dynamic, explosive things everyday to have a big bang for the tv news at dinnertime. Thanks for getting our heads screwed on right and a kick in the butt. Thank you thank you thank you

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  27. Many, many thanks for this pungent, wise essay.

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  28. I too am a fucking senior citizen. Thanks for this. It's terrific

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  29. I am not Barack Obama, and I approve of this fucking message.

    I am pushing 60, I voluntarily did my time in Uncle's Air Force during the Vietnam conflict, pay my taxes and I damn well fucking vote!! Wouldn't, couldn't miss it. Now, let's get out there and kick some serious ass come election day and beyond! Let's grow spines and stand on our hind legs and quit crawling across the floor on all fours like abused animals, or better yet, helpless hounds riding the roof of Romney's Detroit, the one he turned his back on.

    This is not a perfect world, and Mr. Obama is not a perfect president, not supposed to be. Such a world and such personages only exist in comic books, vintage Playboy centerfolds and theological fantasies, of which there are plenty. Perfection is imperfection, so let us be openly fucked up together and get with it in the here and now, not some E ticket Tomorrowland that we might regret because, among others, some disappointed armchair quarterbacks tailgated their futures away screaming at the television and refused to vote, exercising their foolish ability to abstain and piss their rights away. The car don't run itself standing alone in the field of dreams, gotta turn that sucker on, get behind the wheel and take the road. I hate to go all Frank Capra here, but it is "We the People...". I really fear the day I hear Mr. Romney goes to Washington. And I really fear the day that Paul "Rand" Ryan might have to step up and assume the position governing from the "I've got mine, fuck you" political position it seems he really feels and believed up until he got tapped to be Romulan's VP running mate. The neo-con parade as led by Dickless Chainlink and his mechanical heart are slobbering, chomping at the bit, eager to reseat themselves in their electric chairs and motor forward at warp speed to pick up the pieces and further their decades long agenda. Big Bird is not a blue plate special, and neither are we.

    Thank you Sad Bastard for speaking our minds. You're ever in my part of the world, I've got some smooth single malt, the bar will be open.

    And now, dig this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=rPFGWVKXxm0

    cheers,
    s.a.

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    1. Were you and Sad Bastard separated at birth?

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  30. Bravo! But I don't see the President's first debate as a loss. He didn't fall for Romney's trap of wasting time by arguing every lie that Romney spewed-rather, he stuck to getting his message out. He was tired. And that's ok. He is the true knight in shining armor. Will we (the public employer) be the honorable "king" he's trying to serve?

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  31. Clap, clap, clap ,clap! People forget, liars are more animated to make you believe their bullshit than someone who is telling you the truth. Obama did point out the lies in the 1st debate. People need to get over the fact you have to act a fool to be heard. PAY ATTENTION DAMMIT!

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  32. Bravo! I haven't given up as I haven't heard the "White Horse" Nay! We will win this .. we must! The Republican't will destroy all that has been accomplished the past 4 years. We ned to take our country back from the plutocracy. we need to make Congress accountable.

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  33. When I read this article, it struck me exactly like a half-time, locker room speech from a coach pissed off by how badly we had played in the first half. It doesn't matter that the other team has been cheating or spitting in our faces and kicking us in our balls in the pile-ups -- if the referees don't do their jobs and call the fouls, we still have to play our asses off to beat them.

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  34. My god, thank you for expressing exactly what I feel in exactly the language it needs.

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  35. You have made my day, man. I've been waiting for someone to write something like this for two weeks now. I'm with you all the way. Obama 2012, motherfuckers!

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  36. Remember, as soon as one of the pundit douche bags calls Obama an angry black man everyone take a drink.

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  37. The Republicans Party is on a slab in a morgue waiting for someone to identify the body.The jackals running the Grifters On Parade show now want to bring creationism into schools, deny science and reality and elect a King. Meanwhile people have "doubts" about Obama? Like what? He'll overturn Roe vs Wade? Put gay rights back into a time machine set to 1922? Start another war? Be found with either Koch Brothers hand up his ass? Kill Affordable Care Act? Give the rich more tax breaks and pay for it with slashing middle class tax breaks and shoot holes in every safety net ever written by a Democrat? Romney and Ryan are the poster boys for your pocket being picked, your ass being kicked and your nation going nowhere.

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  38. Amazingly on point and just what I needed tonight.

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  39. Between this and the debate tonight, it's as if both you and President Obama read my mind. Thank you for posting this.

    Ben Cisco

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